Paideia Tribune

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The Heat of the Moment

2018-11-20 Sasha AlexanderSOCIAL

SHE’S GOTTA HAVE IT, Think Like a Girl – For years, I’ve heard the phrase “my perception is my reality” and it makes me cringe.

This ideology poisons healthy relationships.

On one hand, it’s important to understand and relate to other people, whether you agree or disagree.

However, the phrase is commonly used to justify heat of the moment feelings.

When a child belts out, “I hate you” to a disciplining parent, those temporary feelings fade.

Some adults validate their perceptions as reality instead of exerting self-control over their feelings.

The original intention of this psychological phrase serves as a reminder that people equate their perceptions as their reality.

Now it justifies inaction, unfair and uninformed judgments. It’s a way of avoiding accountability to others.

Of course perception has a lot of do with reality, but sane individuals take actions to produce functional results – unless you aim to argue and stay stuck in discord.

Some people hide behind this phrase. It’s a cop out to escape from facing facts.

If perception is always reality, why then would diagnoses like delusional, schizophrenic, or out of touch with reality have value.

The definition of perception is a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.

Basically, it is your mind’s way of shaping and giving definition to what is given to you through the senses.

It’s a unique process, because every mind interprets information differently.

Just because an individual perceives a thing a certain way, does not validate it as a reality.

If you create, evaluate, internalize, and then make someone else’s alleged perception your reality, professional counseling would serve you well.

It’s sad, because this happens far too often in relationships.

I’m guilty – I used to do this.

A quote from Warren Buffet woke me up.

He said, “You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you then that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.”

I’m charging every person who reads this to no longer let negative thoughts of others define you.

That’s not to say that we aren’t in need of improvement.

Sometimes it can take someone else to see our flaws and guide us to a better space.

If you know that you carry a confident spirit and that you strut your stuff with pride, don’t allow the opinions and perceptions of others to destroy your confidence.

Dare to be who you are for yourself – and be the best self you can be.