Paideia Tribune

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Her Secrets, Her Shame, Their Success

2018-11-20 Joann ScottSOCIAL

HOME TRAINING, Parenting Boot Camp – Life as a single woman changed when I had children. I was suddenly being called “mom” by little people that depended on me for everything.

My life no longer belonged to me.

Once my children were born everything was about them.

From sunrise to sunset, when they cried out, there I was – dragging myself out of bed and catering to their every need.

I didn’t feel like a mother, I felt like a maid.

They became an extension of me, oh my God, just reminiscing about it does something to me.

Dating, concerts, and going out faded into my distant future, because from birth forward every decision determined the outcome of their lives.

I didn’t know what to expect when having children, but one thing I did know, my life was not my own any more.

The birth of my children defined, The Evasion of the Body Snatchers.

As time passed, it never seemed to have gotten easier being a single parent.

Some days I would feel as though I was super mom, cooking and caring for them.

Other days, I would feel as though I had let them down by not having a father in their lives.

That was the feeling of defeat.

Having three boys and raising them without a father or a husband was difficult.

I knew as they became older, they would have questions.

I also knew that I would not have all the right answers.

At a certain point, I knew that I could not raise them to be men.

People would constantly say that a woman cannot teach a boy how to be a man.

I knew in the back of my mind that was true.

I also knew, as a woman, that I could teach them how to be loving, respectful, well-behaved and responsible individuals.

So, I had a duty as a woman and a mother of boys to make sure that I implanted those qualities in their lives.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” That quote is from Proverbs 22:6 (KJV).

This scripture was my compass. I grew up in church.

Personally, I think church was a great place to start introducing my sons to the characteristics I knew they needed.

I had to introduce my children to what helped mold me into the type of person I am today – my belief in God.

Today, I often hear parents say that they want their children to decide on their own if they want to practice religion.

As a parent, we are responsible for instilling certain attributes into our children.

As single parents, we should allow our children, sons and daughters alike, to surround themselves with quality people.

As a single mother, I fell short in my ability to show my sons a healthy relationship growing up.

Although I’m confident I worked hard to afford them a comfortable lifestyle, I still regretted not having a father figure in their lives.

I did make sure that they saw firsthand what a real man was by introducing them to male figures such as my brother, my uncles and a few adult cousins.

Also, by exposing them to church involvement at a young age, it provided a public outlook on how they should conduct themselves.

My sons continue to uphold a solid foundation of those qualities and characteristics – they are honorable young men with kind hearts. I am both blessed and proud of my three sons.

As a single mom, I prepared and equipped them.

I didn’t try to do everything alone – it takes an entire village to raise a child – whether you’re single or not.

Paideia Tribune
Joann Scott earned her degree in marketing. She’s raised three sons and continues to provide guidance to her children as adults. She is happily married and aims to show other parents and blended families how to best strengthen their core values in the home. Currently, she works in the social services community helping struggling parents find direction.