Paideia Tribune

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Words White Women Shouldn’t Say

2018-11-20 Marvin HearnSOCIAL

TRUTH IN BLACK IN WHITE, Interracial Dating – Women have a way of getting underneath a man’s skin. Unfortunately, we have a way of allowing it.

As a child, my mom always had the last word.

Any backtalk was met with a swift smack to the lips – simply put, “What mama says goes.”

Fast forward 15 years, and there’s no surprise that I had a distain for women with the “what I say goes” attitude.

For a long while, every black girl I dated had that attitude.

Armed with the knowledge of what seemed to be a pattern, I liberated myself by declaring that my next girlfriend would be white.

Everything seemed perfect with my new, white girlfriend. Until one day, I was apparently too friendly at a party we were attending.

As guests, aren’t you supposed to be friendly? As hosts, are you supposed to be friendly?

Anyway, until the early hours of that morning she went on-and-on in her feelings about how disrespectful and inconsiderate she alleged me of being.

Then she said “You need to grow up and be a man, I’m going to bed.” Boom, there it was again – and from a white woman this time.

The “what I say goes” attitude was back, and this time it brought an extra sting with it.

Previously, white people openly referred to blacks as less than human. The same attitude I disliked about black women hurt even more coming from a white one.

I realized that the race of the woman I was dating didn’t matter, because all women seemed to have the ability to get under a mans skin with this attitude.

In fact, the real problem was that I lacked confidence in my own opinion. My lack of confidence made it easy for anyone with the “what I say goes” attitude to make me feel inferior.

This realization initiated my journey to increase my confidence. I’ve become quite clear on what I want – in a relationship and in life.

Regardless of the sentiments of passionate black women or the opinions of nurturing white females, my self-worth no longer allows anyone to get underneath my skin.